What proportion of British men are packing the most down below? Which part of the country is the kinkiest? What sells better: toys for him or her? These are just some of the burning questions we’ve answered this festive season.
What Proportion of British Men Need Large (or larger still) Condoms?
Only a small number of men in the UK consider themselves to be well endowed, as sales of larger-sized condoms accounts for only 12.83% of revenue on all condoms sold. This means that even less than one in eight men is well enough endowed to require a larger-than-average sized condom, a stark contrast to the number of men who brag to their peers about their natural blessing! 87.17 per cent of condom sales come from regular sized condoms sales, whereas only 0.45% comes from XXL varieties.
What Type of Condoms Sell the Most?
It appears that one condom in particular enjoys sales which are head and shoulders above its latex peers, the ultra-thin varieties. About 40 % of condom sales come from ultra-thin varieties and 35% from regular condoms. Other types, such as thick, extra lubricated, ribbed and fun account for the remaining 25%.
Ultra-thin condoms are designed to decrease the pleasure dampening effects regular or extra safe condoms can have on a male’s sexual experience. Interestingly, the “fun” condom, designed to enhance female pleasure, made up less than 2% of sales. Perhaps this implies that the male British population are selfish lovers, in terms of condom choice at least.
Who Buys Sexual Products?
South Easterners seem to have a particular fondness for introducing props and products into their after hours activities, spending more money on these products over the last three years than any other region and accounting for almost 20% of sex-product sales.
People living in East England are runners up and consumers from the capital come in third, both accounting for 12% of total sales. On the other hand, people from Northern Ireland spend the least amount of money with only 2% of products sold within this category getting shipped to the emerald isle.
What Sex Products Have British Consumers Spent Most On?
Out of all sex-related products, the people of Britain spend the most on sex enhancers. Products to give your spouse an erotic massage are the second highest earners and condoms come in third.
Other product categories making an appearance in the top ten include: couples (8%), vibrators (8%), toys for him (7%), cock rings (5%), eggs (5%), toys for her (4%), essentials (4%). Under the category ‘other’ fall masturbators, penis pumps, dildos, anal toys, fun and games, sexy lingerie and cleaners.
Money spent on sexual enhancers rises with age
Forget flirty 30, it’s people over the age of forty that spend the most on sexual enhancers. 20% of all sex product sales came from men and women in their forties and this figure rises as we look at older demographics, 23% in the 50 to 59 demographic and 24% from those who are 60+.
People in their twenties and thirties spend most on sexual massage products. Massage products account for 16 per cent of money spent on all sex-related products within these age groups. Surprisingly, condoms do not account for massive sales figures. They account for just 12% of sales of sex products to people in their twenties, 15% for people in their thirties and 12% for people in their forties. This could be explained by the wide availability of free condoms from doctors’ surgeries and other NHS clinics.
Kyle has been let out into the world again and unwittingly ends up watching a play about vibrators! Yes, he really did stumble across this gem by accident. Maybe it’s better if he explains…
Kyle here, now as many of you know, a story from me has to start with some dialogue. This time is went something like this:
Friend: Hey stranger, it’s been ages. I have some tickets to see a play; want to come?
Kyle: Sure! What’s it about?
Friend: A comedy about love and romance, called ‘In the Next Room’… still want to go?
Kyle: Yeah, why not, could do with a laugh!
This year saw the return of one of the most popular mainstream adult events in the UK: Erotica! Moving from their traditional home of Kensington Olympia, they set up shop in the fabulous venue at Tobacco Dock and opened the doors to the general public, inviting them in for a weekend of exploration and initiation.
They missed out last year and this year was set to be the triumphant return of a leading adult event. Or so you’d have thought. It was our first time visiting this showcase and we were excited. We expected a large party and celebration that they had returned, we expected crowds of people fighting to see the shows and clamouring to burst forth into the shops. Was this what we were met with?
Ohh My… was delighted to be invited to attend the very first Love, Sex and Intimacy Fair held this year in Brighton and Hove!
The event, a fantastic and eclectic mix of individuals (including the infamous Miss Emma Podmore from our dear friends at Sextoys.co.uk – yes, she was misbehaving as usual) and a diverse range of programs including talks and workshops spread over the two-day weekend offered visitors a chance to really engage with other people and subjects.
Ohh My… is delighted to be able to announce our second annual writing competition!
We’ll be on the search for hot writing talent with the winners being placed in a book that will be distributed by Ohh My… both online and through our Ohh My… Experience events in London and beyond.
The theme (and title of the book) is Secret Passions: At Work and we’re looking for short stories that slip in at around 5000 words. It will be a collection of the best of the entrants and can be based on true-life experiences or your wildest fantasies; we don’t mind so long as they make us horny! We are looking for stories about what happens at work, wherever work may be…
There are a few standard guidelines that must be followed, as below:
- Winning stories will be printed in an ebook collection produced by Ohh My…
- Submissions should be sent as a word document attachment to firstname.lastname@example.org
- The deadline for entries is 1st January
- Winners will be announced on a date near Valentine’s 2014
- The judging panel includes Ohh My… Co-Founders John Ord and Kyle Fontaine
- Entries will be accepted under pseudonyms
- All sexual activity must be consensual and legal
- Copyright for the winning entries will be retained by the authors, with Ohh My… being granted full permission of use
If you’re looking for inspiration then pick up a yellow pages (yes, they still exist in some places!) and flick through some of the pages. Is there a fireman who rescues a damsel in distress from a burning building? Does the doctor need to relax after a long shift or does someone have a crush on their office colleague and fancy getting it on at an office party? Let your imaginations run wild!
Best of luck to all of you! We can’t wait to see what goes on inside those heads of yours…
- The Ohh My… Guys
After recently celebrating our first birthday party and looking back on everything we’ve achieved over the last few months we’ve also taken a wee look into the coming twelve months and have put together what is a very exciting set of plans for all the trouble we’re going to get into.
This does, however, mean that we have to take a hit at some point in the Ohh My… world and the success story taking a couple of months to breathe, relax and gather itself like a lazy partner after an epic sex session is the Ohh My… Blog. There’s plenty of great content that you can find here and we’re still going to be active on social media and all that jazz but we feel that to take a leap forward we have to push the ‘hang on a minute’ button for the blog. It was big and red, what were we meant to do?? When I find out who even put a big red button anywhere near us…
Anyway, we have some rather exciting competitions and news pieces coming out in the next two months or so and we’ll be looking forward to seeing you back here in October for some more regular troublemaking. In the meantime… BLOG HOLIDAY!!
Another step along the yellow brick road of legal gay marriage in the UK has been skipped merrily along today as the House of Lords approved the bill proposing to make the change law.
There was perhaps surprisingly vocal support for the bill in the Lords, commonly perceived to be a stuffy old room with people older than the hundreds of years old furniture. Lady Stowell said that the bill ‘puts right something which is wrong’ and she has no argument from Ohh My… on the matter either.
Labour’s Lord Alli, (with Labour arguably coming out on top of this homo-erotic rumble with so many Tories revolting against the PM for his support of the bill) said that ‘my life and many others will be better today than it was yesterday,’ which is a simple and effective statement of what people want from the bill. There is no desire for diminishing heterosexual or religious people but to give equality and happiness the chance of flourishing for gay relationships among these great and swelteringly hot isles.
Believe it or not, Ohh My… will be turning a whole one year old next week! I know, I can hardly believe it, either. I’ve worked with Kyle and not killed him yet! Though I suppose it is nothing if not entertaining…
We’ve had an absolute blast this past year getting to know all of you and setting out a plan for ourselves that is rolling along somewhat silent tracks behind the satin curtain of suspense but right now we’re dispensing with the mystery and have only one word for you: PARTY!
The first thing I notice is the funny smell. Quick check of the ingredients…’Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis’, which is sweet almond oil. Take note allergy sufferers. Gun Oil Stroke 29 is designed to melt after the 29th ‘stroke’. I squirt the thick white cream onto my fingers and then applied it to my, er, gun.
Pumping my weapon I am reminded of the promise that this cream may make me forget I am ‘using [my] own hand’. Very not true. There is no denying who’s touching who here – this isn’t a miracle/numbing cream. Apparently sitting on your hand can provide that particular sensation.
When you pick up and open Sizzling Sex the first thing you notice, apart from the bright pink cover, is the pictures. The book is full of pictures. Every page is plastered with a huge image of people getting up to naughty business to demonstrate what advice author Jo Hemmings is giving in the corresponding text boxes.
These pictures make it easy to flick through and the text itself is well written and organised in bite-size chunks on each page that makes it a quick read. It also means that you can easily dip in and out at particular pages to find more information on what is your particular flavour of the month. There is lots to recommend this book and it covers a wide range of potential positions and activities you can employ to spice up the bedroom night-life a wee bit.